I think I’ve spent my entire life avoiding and running away from beige, the colour and everything it represents. Beige is conservative, beige is safe, beige is neutral, beige is understated, beige is simple, and beige is boring. Beige is not liberal, beige is not risky, beige is not strong, beige is not exaggerated, and beige is not interesting or creative.
As a little girl I loved pink which represents sugar and spice and everything nice and I certainly was an innocent and desperately shy little girl. I wanted to fade into the background, not to be noticed by anyone so gone were the pink girly dresses and I was more drawn to blue. Blue is seen as trustworthy, dependable and committed and that pretty much describes me as a teenager. Not realizing I subconsciously didn’t want to draw attention to myself good or bad, I wondered why no one noticed me as anything other than neutral.
As an adult I discovered black, oh black, the creative cool people wore black and I was trying to be an artist. Black is authoritative and powerful; Black possessions say you are empowered, not easily manipulated, loves elegance, appreciates classics. Black is also used in clothing to make a bold statement of mystery and self control. Looking back it seems black represented everything I was not but wanted to be. Black clothing can say “Notice me but do not intrude.” That resonates with me and my inner desires as an adult. I’d call it progress from the childhood years of “don’t notice me and do not intrude.”
The black theme continued in my life with the move across country and my own apartment. Buying furniture? Black of course, you can never go wrong with black. Clothes, well, I ended up working for a creative company where black was the dress code and I was encouraged to express myself creatively. The big city also encouraged and appreciated people expressing themselves.
I went a little overboard with that freedom and experimented with my look in my late 20s the way so many others do in their teenage years. My make-up got more and more dramatic; my black clothes more and more risqué and my hair? Well my poor hair went from black to auburn to blonde to white blonde with blue to black to red to more red. My 30s was more of the same – red to black to black & red to black to red to oh why oh why blonde again?
Blonde was an impulse to escape myself, blonde is not me in any way; however, I was going through a period of time where I wasn’t myself. Some friends loved it while others expressed that blonde didn’t suit me. I would agree and say yes, blonde is not me but I’m not myself at the moment so I was ok with that for a while.
In my apartments, decorating was usually minimal black furniture and white walls with the exception of a boring yet cheap beige sofa. The sofa moved with me to every apartment, but always covered with some bold duvet cover or blanket. It was leopard print for a while and later a dark red, always with the goal of hiding the beige.
I was never one to paint when I moved into a new apartment as I seemed to move every 2-3 years for one reason or another. At the 3 year mark in my last apt, I got really antsy, wondering if it was time to move even though I was fine where I was. At first I decided to re-decorate without painting and added red to the black and white mix. I added red in every room. I loved it; my apartment was bold and exciting. It was so exciting that sleepless nights increased. Let’s just say this was the beginning of those non-“me” years.
With life taking a turn for the worse in many ways, I thought it best to do what I could to have my living space encourage positive energy instead of negative. I bought a book on Feng Shui by Lillian Too, 168 Feng Shui Ways to Energize Your Life. I learned the feng shui of every room and bought a lot of paint.
I still liked the red so that stayed for the living room and kitchen, which worked with the new positive energy I was creating. To compliment a new piece of art I painted one wall a very dark red with the other walls a nice gold shade. To bring good luck to the office the walls and trim were painted shades of purple. The most important and positive changes came in the bedroom and bathroom with calming shades of blue and pale green. Who knew red was not the best idea for relaxation? (insert sarcastic laugh)
The colour therapy made a world of difference! Yet, the upstairs couple continued to provide me with the sounds of daily screaming matches that no amount of feng shui could counter balance. I was also paying way too much for rent so I decided to risk it and give my notice to move. Change was both scary and exciting at the same time. I lucked out and found an amazing place in an amazing neighborhood where the sounds I hear are the occasional dog bark or birds chirping.
Silence is an amazing thing. I’m kind of ok with the off white walls and that beige sofa? I haven’t covered it with the red duvet cover yet. There’s something comforting and homey about this new apartment and the beige sofa seems to work here. The stronger colours in art and accents in the apartment create a nice balance. I’m embracing silence instead of feeling the need for constant media noise from music or TV and I seem to be embracing beige instead of feeling the need for bright strong colours everywhere.
I still love getting all dressed up and expressing myself through hair, make-up and clothes as being creative and sometimes alternative have become a part of me. The major change however is that I don’t feel the need to express in that way everyday and I’m ok with being seen in casual clothes and no make-up while running errands. The real me is not so bad.
Beige is conservative, safe, neutral, understated, and simple, yet beige doesn’t necessarily mean boring. I’m never going to be conservative; however, there is nothing wrong with being safe, neutral, understated or simple on occasion. Beige is not liberal, risky, strong, exaggerated, or exciting, yet neutrals allow for the more risky, strong, exaggerated and exciting colours to stand out and have more impact.
I’m starting to think everyone has a little beige in them and maybe some people just take longer to embrace that part them than others. This will be the year I start embracing the beige in me.
